Position: Temporary but may result in a full time position.
Salary: Priceless (that's because I'm priceless)
Responsibilities include but are not limited to:
-Paying for all dates including movies, dinners, shisha, etc.
-Take me on shopping trips (hang on, don't get all flustered! Shopping includes foods too ya know, not just clothing, boots or bags. I'm a student! How about books? Better yet, how about we take a trip to the grocery store and buy food so I can start eating good instead of eating out of that shit van (where they sell poutine, burgers, etc.))
-Snuggles.
-Be at my beckon call.
-Foot, legs and back massages.
-Tell me how beautiful I am every day...okay maybe not, that might get little annoying after a while.
-Make me laugh.
-Make me cry from joy.
-Must be honest, but not cruel.
-Carry my heavy ass school bag!
Qualifications:
-Applicant must be between the age of 27-35 (and for those who think 35 is a tad on the ew side, screw you! lol).
-University/College education.
-Must be clean and well dressed, but not dress better than me! P.S. Pointed shoes, and heavy chains are grounds for immediate dismissal.
-Shoes size must be a size 13...lol
-MUST HAVE MONEY! lol okay that's a tad on the shallow side...but you can't be a broke mo fo!
-Must possess a car (a good one too, a shit box will not do! Who the hell do you think I am? Do you think that I'll be seen in some rusted car with a missing side mirror?! Hells to the NO!)
-Dark features... Mediterranean, Middle Eastern, Eastern European...I have a new fancy towards Persians...hehe. (I'm a sucka for accents).
-MUST NOT BE SUPER RELIGIOUS. Its cool if you have your faith, but I'm not going to one of your JESUS SAVES meetings. lol
-Any additional skills or tricks are added assets.
If interested and qualified for this position please apply in writing via electronic mail or in person.
um... what wrong with over 35??? :P
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