I'm One Step Ahead Of You!

What does it mean to be one step ahead of everyone else? Steps are always free, but what are the extra costs of taking extra steps to be a step ahead of everyone else?

My good friend Archie gave me an ultimatum one day, "either you go out or you can stay here in this study room for the rest of your life and always be one step ahead." This shock me to my core. I thought, "oh gawd I'm gonna be a geek just like this guy!" lol

Why do people always want to be a step ahead? There are many reasons why. Some want to be ahead in life. Some want to be better than others. Some want to be at the top of the game. But me, my reason, there is nothing better for me to do. I live life alone. No boyfriend, no family and no friends (or maybe not enough...that's sounds horrible). Sorry but that is how I feel. I hate that constant feeling of feeling alone and that is why I take that extra step, to numb the pain of being alone. I think people call that being a workaholic. I wake up at 7am and study until 10pm. All day long and as long as I can remember, I've always felt that I had to do things on my own with very little support or push or love. Maybe people don't like...I don't even think I like myself...

Okay, almost bedtime. I'm gonna study before I go to bed...in fact I'm going to study in bed!

Day 2 of UofT

Day 2 of classes. I've only attended three of five, that being intermediate Arabic, Beginner Farsi and the Islamic City. The other two are Media and Communications in the Middle East and the Taj Mahal. Day 2 and I'm already stressed out! I can feel my chest tighten and my breathing getting short. I'M FREAKING OUT!

Let me let you in on something, university studies is no child play. It's serious stuff! It will shaped your future, be that you are successful or fail during your university journey. Let me let you in on something else. University studies are not a walk in a park on a sunny warm day with cute little forest animals prancing about in tune with the harpist player that just magically appears to play in the middle of it. Oh no, it is more like a hike up a mountain with mountain lions who are the professors, snakes who are the back stabbing students who are snobbish and don't know how to help out a fellow student, the mountain man who takes all your money or even worse the his wife who lends you money and puts you $30,000.00 in debt (OSAP) and then the treacherous thunder and lightning storms that turn your world topsy turvy! However, like a hike up any mountain there are two aspects. The one I just described is what probably makes the university years the hardest and scariest time of one's life.

The second aspect is a somewhat better one. You make new friends, you enjoy some of your chosen classes, you party and much much more! For me the best part of university is meeting my fellow students and befriending them. They're great and I value them. And you know what I'm going to tell of them how I feel, now.

Khadjiah C-you are the sweetest girl I ever met! Plus your mom makes damn good pikoras!

Khadja F-I love your energy! I love talking to you, our conversations are always interesting!

Zahra-I admire your strength and stubbornness.

Leanna aka Levaughna!-our struggle in Arabic brought us close and I love your firerey presence.

Yancy-I saw you today and it brought a smile to my face to see you! You're so cute and so stylish when you're not covered in dirt! lol

Ridda-You are so chill and I appreciate you helping a retard in improving her Arabic! I owe you kanefe! But not before we visit Hakka!

Wesam-You're just genuinely a nice person and everybody loves you...except for me, I hate you! Bahaha nah I'm kidding! Just make sure to remind me when our essays are due! lol

Meghan-You're a knitting rock star! You must teach me your ways! AND you have the kindest heart ever!

Altug-You're appreciation for food only exceeds mine therefore making you the best person in the world! Turkish pizza?! Yummmmm

Lale-You're such an interesting person. AND not to mentioned smart as hell!

Arhaviz-I love your compositions!...and those arms *cough* lol

Hilola-I MISS YOU! WHERE ARE YOU! You're just a wonderful person and I am sure that you give no one cause to dislike you or say mean things about you...if there are tell me and I'll kick their butts!

Okay I have way too many friends...I know I'm so popular...LMAO! This is just a handful of people, but I love all of my friends. You all my make university experience wonderful. Thanks guys!

XOXO

Before My Life Ends...

*MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooaaaan*!.. *HUGE SIGH* Oh no...tomorrow I start my fourth and final year at the University of Toronto. From September until June my life will cease to exist. I am determined to rock my fourth year out. But in order for that to happen I will have to pull a disappearing act...POOF! But before my life ends for exactly nine months I enjoyed living a life.

This summer I've traveled, shopped and ate my way through Jordan, I ran five days a week since I got back from Jordan and lost all the weight I gained in Jordan, I hung out with beloved friends, had an on and off again relationship with Pizza and fell hopelessly in love with Hakka, and watched a shit load of TV shows such as Jersey Shore, Tabatha's Salon Takeover, Fashion Television and much, much more! I must say, I lived The Life! lol

At 10am tomorrow morning the "fabulous life of Tyechia" ends. Instead I'll be spending a fabulous time at Robarts studying my ass off, making frantic calls to George so he can help me improve my Arabic, and I am very sure that I will develop fabulous bags underneath my eyes from sleep deprivation. I can't forget to mention Facebook! My Facebook stalking will also be put on hold! lol Oh what a cruel life! What a cruel world! Wish me good luck in my self exile from the "normal" life!

Welcome To My Friday Night!

This Friday night I feel like staying in. I would love a glass of wine, but I'm laying off the alcohol. I would love a bag of my favourite chips (jalapeño and cheddar), but my weight loss goal prevents me from doing so. I would love to rent a movie, but there's nothing good to rent. You know what would be great? SLEEP. Sleep is always good...gawd I'm boring...Sleeping instead of boozing it up and waking up with a major hangover and a sense of bloatedness the following morning is definitely the wise and favoured choice.

Don't worry folks, I'm sure there will be a wild Friday night story coming up in the near future. It has to happen! School starts in about a week! School+stress=self intoxication!

If You Really Knew Me...

Do you like Jersey Shore? Fuck I do! At the moment it is the highlight in my life right now! lol Anyways...love the Situation btw...hehe. Anyways, I discovered a new MTV show called, "If You Really Knew ME" and it really touched me. Why? Because I saw a group of people drop their fortresses made of stone walls and expose to everyone they knew how they really felt behind their walls. They emerged from their hidden fortresses and laid all their shit bare. That's a pretty tough thing to do and very brave.

An important question was brought up, "Why don't people really express how they feel or let others know what's happening in their lives?" The answer: because of embaressment. People are scared of what others will think. Even worse, people are scared of being judged. There are reportably six billion people living on this planet. So right now as the 6th billion person I'm going to show you what is really going on in my head. Hopefully I will lead the other 5,999,999,99 people, that being my friends, family, even those whom I dislike, so that they can cross their draw bridges of their fortresses, just so we can all really get to know each other. Pft, we share the same planet after all! The population rate will only double very soon, might as well get closer.

So here I am, in my fortress...I'm letting down that draw bridge and I'm coming out! Here it goes: If you really knew me, you would know that I am not happy. If you really knew me, you would know that 90% of the time that I smile, it's forced. If you really knew me, you would know that I feel alone all the time. And I am fearful that I will be alone for the rest of my life. If you really knew me, you would know that my fancy looking fortress isn't so fancy inside. It's a mess because there is no light to help me get around and clean my shit up.

I want to make something clear. My family, my friends and the simple things in life...okay and the big things like big shinny jewelry, wacky shoes and my manicured nails do bring a smile to my face. I love my family. I love my friends. I love my shoes! But do I love my life or even myself? Can anyone truly be satisfied with themselves? Or are we just ungrateful and greedy people? I am I ungrateful and greedy? Or am I ambitious?

My One Night Stand! *GASP*

I was doing so well. I don't know what came over me. There he was, Pizza. As I was leaving the Museum with my friend Prince, there he was! Staring at me, undressing me with his eyes. He called my name..."Tyechia....Tyyyyyyyyy...I'm sooooo cheesy! Don't you miss me in your mouth?" LMAO! My heart rate went up, my pupils dilated. As I bit my lower lip an overpowering urge rushed through my heart and soul and it was there to stay! Prince was witnessing my internal struggle as I asked, "Should I...?" Prince then replied, "Tyechia, if you do this, you have to realize that this will be a one night stand. Don't expect Pizza to call you the next day!" He was speaking the painful truth. But I couldn't resist...I wanted him so badly...just a fix to keep me going!

As I entered Pizza's apartment, I suspected that I was not in for a quickie. Pizza then whispered into my ear, "How do you want it?" I then quickly replied, "OMG cheese, chicken and mushrooms!" I then took a single slow bite...my suspicions were confirmed...I would be there for a while. With every bite, with every chew, my tongue caressed every ingredient Pizza had to offer. I felt like I was in paradise. I didn't want it to end! Alas, it had to end...it was a sweet bitter goodbye. I knew Pizza was bad news, but who else would offer me such pleasure? My food pool was running out of options. That was until I met Hakka! That my friends is another crazy love story!