You Fancy huh? Nails Done...

It has recently come to my attention that some of you do not know that I am a qualified Aesthetician. "How is this university-educated lady an Aesthetician?" some of you may ask. And lets be honest, when you ask this question, you ask with a condescending tone, as if being an aesthetician is something lowly. Well let me tell you something, sweety, you should have a lot of respect for that person who is giving you a manicure, because they are human. In fact, they are the best type of human. They're the type of human who not only puts up with your fungus ridden feet, but they also put up with your bullshit!

How did I get into aesthetics? Long story short; completed my first year of university right after high school, went to college for aesthetics because I was oh so confused with my life, worked in Toronto for a few months, got the opportunity of a lifetime and found a job working in spas on cruise ships and did that for a few years, came back to toronto, was interested in spa management (an idea which quickly faded because I lost my passion for that due to a stupid-racist driven manager and all the politics that went with spa management), then decided to go back to university, worked part-time during my studies and now, I am happily a university graduate and currently and franticly trying to find money to pay for my master's programme at the University of Manchester....so if you want to give me $25,000.00 please feel free...PLEASE!

Back to the point of this post! When you get your nails done, you think you fancy huh? For some, yes, you are very fancy. But others, oh boy, you're not fancy! In fact, you're silly and somethings trashy. Here are some examples:

-Okay, seriously, when your nails have just been painted, waving your hands back and forth WILL NOT speed up the drying process of your nails. SO STOP IT! You look dumb. And you make me want to grab your hands and tie them down to the sides of your chair.

-Does it really take you fifteen minutes to choose a polish colour? Is it really a matter of life and death? NO! So please, get over yourself.

-When I offer my own nails to show you what a colour looks like from the polish bottle, because you've already used all ten of your friggen fingers, I am trying to help you, and I don't need comments like, "Oh, I don't know if you noticed, but you and I have total different skin colours." Really, I though everyone is black! Well hang on, let me put my nail up against the white wall so you can get a better picture!

-Myself and every other aesthetician HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE it when you watch every single thing when we're working on your nails. And when you check every little thing after we worked on one nail! We know what we're doing, that's why you're paying $40.00 for your manicure/pedicure. So please stop insulting us be insinuating that we don't know what we're doing!

-Finally, stop acting like you're a superstar! Look me in the eye when I talk to you! Don't talk to us like we're you're slaves, because we're not! In fact, if you're a difficult person, we can easily arrange that you will never be booked with us again. Eventually, if you keep on acting the way you do, every aesthetician will block you that no one will do your nails.

These are some serious points here. I used to work at a place where everyone knew a particular person whom everyone hated that whenever that person called in for an appointment, we simply told them that we were fully booked and avoided their phone calls. So people, please mind yourselves. Mind your manners, because not only will you find yourself without a manicure/pedicure, you'll find that not only aestheticians will be bored of your character, but honey, you'll also be single with that princess attitude!

Sexy

We all know what sexy is? Women can be sexy. Men can be sexy. All in their own sexy way. That is the way one dresses, walks, talks, dancing, and all that etc blah blah blah.

BUT non-sexiness is not acceptable. So, what is NOT sexy?

Ladies:

-Un-pedicured feet and un-manicured nails...you look dirty and clean looks sexy.

-Have you seen George? No? That's probably because he is lost within your jungle! BRAZILIAN ladies!

-Is there a reason as to why you are wearing a bra that is waaaay too tight and half your cup size? Go for a bra fitting my dear!

-Pouting, ESPECIALLY IN PHOTOS! Why are you pouting?!?! You look dumb, not sexy!

Gentlemen:

-Yeah, don't worry, I didn't forget to notice your feet too! Fix your feet!

-Please refrain from adjusting your package in public. Yes, when we see you do this we realized that you might have a big one, but if you're gonna do this, you might as well pick you wedgy! lol Its gross!

-Dorags...not only do you look stupid, you look like a robber!

-Baggy pants and shirts...the "I'm drowning in my clothes" look is not attractive. In fact, you look like you couldn't find your size, which in turn makes you look stupid.

-Walking with a "pimp" limp...I advise you to see your doctor or buy a cane if you walk like this, because if done on purpose, its not sexy!

-Hitting on women on the transit...not only is it creepy, but you look like a desperate loser...the transit is for transportation use, not a speeding dating session for duration of your trip.

-Hitting on women while driving...you look stupid when you stop your car in the middle of the road to hit on a lady and have five cars behind you honk at you. And do you know what's even worse, hitting on a women while you're on the passenger side of a car! You scrub! lol But it all seriousness, women or shall I say real ladies, won't actually walk up to your car...we're not prostitutes! So treating us like one is not sexy.

I'm sure that there are a whole lot of things that are not considered sexy. These ones just really get to my though. I know I'm sexy! Are you?

Happy Birthday Toooo Meeeee!

Firstly, I would love to thank all of my friends and family for their kind birthday wishes! xoxoxox me lub you long time!

Some of you may not have known that my birthday was last week and I officially turned twenty-seven...that's three years from thirty...wtf... I don't like this...UNDO! UNDOOOOO! Where's the god damn undo getting older button?! Twenty-seven...do not like!

Despite my gross feelings about turning this age that shall no longer be named, I think I feel somewhat proud of all the things I have achieved during this lifetime. I've done a lot others would have only dreamed of! I've partied hard (and still do), left home at twenty-two and worked on a cruise ship, traveled the world, climbed Mt. Vesuvius, swam in the Pacific Ocean, participated on an archaeological dig in Jordan, danced in a carnival in St. Martin, walked bared foot in the Emirati deserts, ate my way through all the countries I've visited, dated men from Lebanon to Russia, etc. (bahaha I'm not gonna expose all the "interesting" details of my life experiences). I've done a lot.

One thing I'm proud of is finding myself. Finding Tyechia. You see, she used to be this fat, brace-teeth, shy-four eyed girl. But I knew that life was and still is out there. There world is so big and yet so small. Through all my life experiences I've learned a lot about myself and came into my own. I went to school, took a long break and then went back to school because I finally figured out what I wanted to do with my life. Most people get a degree in chemical engineering in their youth and later figure out that that was totally not them....maybe one wanted to be a porn star lol. Back to the point: I found myself! I'm strong, confident, I speak up for myself, when I want something I go after it and get it (persistence is key!), my glasses, braces are gone and I'm working on reclaiming my body back which was stolen from the University of Toronto (you try finding cheap healthy food on campus! $3 poutine anyone?)

Although, I did imagine myself in a different position by this time, married, house, car, and two kids, I'm happy with where I am in life. I will be starting my masters in Manchester this September and then I'll finally be set.

...BUT...if I'm not married by thirty (evil and vile age) then I'll begin to worry