Fat Kid in a Candy Store

Because my body does not have a "UNDO" button I am forced to work out at the gym in order to get my old body back.

Ever get the feeling that your a fat kid in a candy store? I had that feeling today. I met my friend ZouZou in the weight room of our university gym. She was doing the weights, not me. I'm more of a cardio gal. Anyhow, as soon as I walked in I was overcome by an intense joyous and somewhat perverse feelings. As I looked around I couldn't fight my own reaction as to what I was looking at. I had a huge smile on my face and I couldn't turn it upside down! My mouth hung open and I nearly walked into a machine! There were so many! I was in paradise! "HOLY COW' I thought to myself! "LOOK AT THEIR ARMS! HOLY SHIT...THAT GUY IS EFFIN HOT! AND SO'S HE! AND HIM TOO. OMG AND DEF HIM!" Then I turned my head right, "WOW..." I thought as this tanned muscular god walked by me. This one looked right at me and smiled...I immediately hung my head from shyness and walked (even thought I felt like running with a girly squeel while clapping my hands) away. I was like a cat on catnip! I just got so excited! So I found my friend and immediately informed her that I had to leave and that I could never come back! lol I couldn't stand the immense distractions! I couldn't hide my excitement and obvious perverted stares! If I, the fat kid, scarfed down all the cake in this man candy store, I would have definitely not have only be known as the fat kid, but the fat slutty kid! lol

I'm serious, I can't go back in there...lol

...no I'm serious...lmao

Job Posting: Boyfriend/Sugar Daddy

Job Posting: Boyfriend/Sugar Daddy

Position: Temporary but may result in a full time position.

Salary: Priceless (that's because I'm priceless)

Responsibilities include but are not limited to:

-Paying for all dates including movies, dinners, shisha, etc.

-Take me on shopping trips (hang on, don't get all flustered! Shopping includes foods too ya know, not just clothing, boots or bags. I'm a student! How about books? Better yet, how about we take a trip to the grocery store and buy food so I can start eating good instead of eating out of that shit van (where they sell poutine, burgers, etc.))

-Snuggles.

-Be at my beckon call.

-Foot, legs and back massages.

-Tell me how beautiful I am every day...okay maybe not, that might get little annoying after a while.

-Make me laugh.

-Make me cry from joy.

-Must be honest, but not cruel.

-Carry my heavy ass school bag!

Qualifications:

-Applicant must be between the age of 27-35 (and for those who think 35 is a tad on the ew side, screw you! lol).

-University/College education.

-Must be clean and well dressed, but not dress better than me! P.S. Pointed shoes, and heavy chains are grounds for immediate dismissal.

-Shoes size must be a size 13...lol

-MUST HAVE MONEY! lol okay that's a tad on the shallow side...but you can't be a broke mo fo!

-Must possess a car (a good one too, a shit box will not do! Who the hell do you think I am? Do you think that I'll be seen in some rusted car with a missing side mirror?! Hells to the NO!)

-Dark features... Mediterranean, Middle Eastern, Eastern European...I have a new fancy towards Persians...hehe. (I'm a sucka for accents).

-MUST NOT BE SUPER RELIGIOUS. Its cool if you have your faith, but I'm not going to one of your JESUS SAVES meetings. lol

-Any additional skills or tricks are added assets.

If interested and qualified for this position please apply in writing via electronic mail or in person.

Depress Eat

What did you eat today? McDonalds? Harvey's? Ice cream? Pizza? Chips? Kunefa? Fries? Poutine? Coke zero? Did you just eat one of these marvelous foods or did you eat all of them on your crazy binge fest? Next question; where you even hungry? No? Then why did you eat you greedy pig!? WHY?! lol

As you may have already figured out, I love food. A LOT. But sometimes eating a grotesque amount of food in a short time is a cry for help. When I'm down I eat. When I'm pissed I eat. When I feel lonely I eat. Whoa...yeah I have a problem and you might too. In fact the Urban Dictionary points this issue out proving that the filling of the void with mass amounts of food, mostly crap food, is a sign of depression:

1.Depress eat3 thumbs up

buy depress eat mugs, tshirts and magnets

To eat a large amount of food (possibly junk food) even though you are not hungry, just because you are depressed.

Fuck, I'm depressed. I'm gonna go depress eat to fill the void in my pathetic life with food.

food depressed eat depression depress sad fat eating disorder
by sell a door Oct 9, 2010 share this

LMAO! Okay maybe I shouldn't laugh...But food does fill you with joy...temporary joy. This joy may turn into something evil...like cellulite or a massive pot belly! So what does one do about this problem? How does one fill the void in their "pathetic life"? Drowning yourself in school work? No, that just makes you more depressed. Jogging? Fuck that, its too cold outside! Working out at the gym? Nah that will only give me an excuse to eat more junk because I've justified that gyming it will burn off the calories that I've just violently consumed.

This search to fill this void with something other than food comes easier for some. For others, like myself, I don't know what the heck I want or how to fill this void. It may take me while...or I may never find it...I wonder if there are any more cookies left in the kitchen....*rubs my stomach with a smirk*

Ever Feel Like This?

...emptiness...

Say It With Me: I Must...

I must:

...be kind to those who are kind.

...be loving to my friends.

...be loyal to my family.

...try not to be selfish because others have it worse.

...not care.

...be strong for myself and for others.

...be disciplined.

...be better.

...be proud and humble.

...I must be strong without allowing my muscle harm others.

...I must be strong...

...I must be loyal to myself...