My good friend Archie gave me an ultimatum one day, "either you go out or you can stay here in this study room for the rest of your life and always be one step ahead." This shock me to my core. I thought, "oh gawd I'm gonna be a geek just like this guy!" lol
Why do people always want to be a step ahead? There are many reasons why. Some want to be ahead in life. Some want to be better than others. Some want to be at the top of the game. But me, my reason, there is nothing better for me to do. I live life alone. No boyfriend, no family and no friends (or maybe not enough...that's sounds horrible). Sorry but that is how I feel. I hate that constant feeling of feeling alone and that is why I take that extra step, to numb the pain of being alone. I think people call that being a workaholic. I wake up at 7am and study until 10pm. All day long and as long as I can remember, I've always felt that I had to do things on my own with very little support or push or love. Maybe people don't like...I don't even think I like myself...
Okay, almost bedtime. I'm gonna study before I go to bed...in fact I'm going to study in bed!
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