Alcohol is Satan

Do you want me to give the best piece of advice? Here it is: NEVER DRINK ALCOHOL! It's really not worth the hangover in the morning. It's really not worth you puking over your toilet bowl. It's really not worth the splitting headache the next day. It's really not worth feeling and probably smelling like Satan's ass. DON'T DO IT! Why would you want to put your body through something like that?

...where's my advil?